La musique

 Una mañana me desperté, pero al acercarme a la pc, me encontré con que mis parlantes habían fallecido durante la noche. Intenté reanimarlos, pero fue en vano. Dieron una última lucecita de vida, y se apagaron para siempre. Se convirtieron en dos lápidas a los lados del monitor. Esto pasó en un momento en particular en donde mi fluidez económica no me permitía simplemente decir "fuck it" y comprar un reemplazo inmediatamente. Así fue como estuve varios días sin los parlantes. Y el silencio absoluto de todo lo que hacía, la falta de música, de rainymood, de voces; se fue acumulando hasta hacerse insoportable.

 Por suerte, ahora tengo otros parlantes ya, de parte de una amiga que se copó y me los dio porque ya no los usaba. Pero me dí cuenta de lo mucho que significa el sonido para mí. La música. Lo mucho que me calma, que me inspira. Lo mucho que me produce. Ahora mismo estoy escuchando música, mientras escucho las gotas de lluvia golpear contra mi ventana, y siento cómo se parten y algún fragmento de gota llega hasta mí. Es un momento perfecto.

Somebody That I Used to Know

[Gotye:]
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[x2]
Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody

Art of Life

Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me

Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"

I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the dollls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying

Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart

Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls

You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary ennemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
in my dream

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna to live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love

Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life

Moonlight

Porque no es necesario que una canción tenga una letra para ser algo importante en tu vida. Porque escuchar esto, y ver el video me hace sentir algo hermoso, y me hace pensar por unos instantes que el mundo es un lugar hermoso.

So I ran faster
But you caught me here
Yes my loyalties turned
Like my ankle
In the seventh grade
Running after Billy
Running after the rain
These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things let them break
Their hold over me

He said you're really an ugly girl
But I like the way you play
And I died
But I thanked him
Can you believe that
Sick, sick, holding on to his picture
Dressing up every day
I wanna smash the faces of those beautiful boys
Those Christian boys
So you can make me come
That doesn't make you Jesus

I remember
Yes in my peach party dress
No one dared
No one cared
To tell me where the pretty girls are
Those demigods
With their nine-inch nails
And little fascist panties
Tucked inside the heart
Of every nice girl
These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break
Let them wash away


---

And this song, it matters not when I hear it, it always carries a meaning to me; just it's not always the same one.

Black

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... yeah...
Uh huh... uh huh... ooh...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine

Les Jours Tristes

It's hard, hard not to sit on your hands
And bury your head in the sand
Hard not to make other plans
And claim that you've done all you can all along
But life must go on
It's hard, hard to stand up for what's right
And bring home the bacon each night
Hard not to break down and cry
When every idea that you've tried has been wrong
But you must carry on

It's hard but you know it's worth the fight
'Cause you know you've got the truth on your side
When the accusations fly, hold tight
Don't be afraid of what they'll say
Who cares what cowards think, anyway
They will understand one day, one day

It's hard, hard when you're here all alone
And everyone else has gone home
Harder to know right from wrong
When all objectivity is gone
And it's gone
But you still carry on
'Cause you, you are the only one left
And you've got to clean up this mess
You know you'll end like the rest
Bitter and twisted, unless
You stay strong and you carry on

It's hard but you know it's worth the fight
'Cause you know you've got the truth on your side
When the accusations fly, hold tight
Don't be afraid of what they'll say
Who cares what cowards think, anyway
They will understand one day, one day

Space Dye Vest

Falling through pages of Martens on angels
Feeling my heart pull west
I saw the future dressed as a stranger
love in a space-dye vest

Love is an act of blood and I'm bleeding
a pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start

[Sample is Julian Sands from the film "A Room With A View".]
"But he's the sort who can't know
anyone intimately, least of all a
woman. He doesn't know what a woman
is. He wants you for a possession,
something to look at like a painting or an ivory box.
Something to own and to display. He doesn't want you to be real,
or to think or to live. He doesn't love you, but I love you.
I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and
feelings, even when
I hold you in my arms. It's our last chance... It's our
last chance..."

Now that you're gone I'm trying to take it
Learning to swallow the rage
Found a new girl I think we can make it
as long as she stays on the page

This is not how I want it to end
And I'll never be open again

[Sample from "The Trouble With Evan", from the Canadian series "The Fifth Estate".]
"...I was gonna move out...ummm...get,
get a job, get my own place, ummm,
but... I go into the mall where I
want to work and they tell me, I'm,
I was too young..."

[Sample is Jim Hill from a news commentary about the OJ Simpson freeway chase.]
"Some people, gave advice before,
about facing the facts, about
facing reality. And this is, this
without a doubt, is his biggest
challenge ever. He's going to have to face it.
You're gonna have to try, he's gonna to have to try and,
uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can
say they know how he feels."

[Sample from the Conan O'Brien show.]
"That, so they say that, in ya know
like, Houston or something, you'd
say it's a hundred and eighty degrees,
but it's a dry heat.
In Houston they say that?
Oh, maybe not. I'm all mixed up.
Dry until they hit the swimming pool."

[Sample from "The Trouble With Evan", from the Canadian series "The Fifth Estate".]
"...I get up with the sun... Listen.
You have your own room to sleep in,
I don't care what you do. I don't
care when. That door gets locked,
that door gets locked at night by nine o'clock.
If you're not in this house by nine o'clock, then you'd
better find some
place to sleep. Because you're not going to be a bum in
this house.
Supper is ready..."

There's no one to take my blame
if they wanted to
There's nothing to keep me sane
and it's all the same to you
There's nowhere to set my aim
so I'm everywhere
Never come near me again
do you really think I need you

I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.
I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.

And I'll smile and I'll learn to pretend
And I'll never be open again
And I'll have no more dreams to defend
And I'll never be open again

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure - that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets

Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
People on streets - people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn

Why - why - why ?
Love love love love love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

-----------------------------------------------

Tantos momentos, un solo tema...

It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it's been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
since i could say that i wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile
Since I could lok at myself straight
and it's been awhile
since i said i'm sorry
It's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
It's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it's me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry

Misunderstood, by Bon Jovi
-----------------------------

Should I? Could I?
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times
If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine

You cried, I died
I should have shut my mouth, things headed south
As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb
If this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one
I'm wasting time when I think about it

[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, Did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood

Could I? Should I?
Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night
Staying out too late with all my friends
You found me passed out in the yard again

You cried, I tried
To stretch the truth, but didn't lie
It's not so bad when you think about it

[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good

[Guitar Solo]

It's you and I, just think about it...

[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
I 'm hanging outside your door
I've been here before
Misunderstood

I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good.